I really don’t know when or why it started.
And NO! Not literal crap. That wouldn’t be a reason for a blog post- that’d be reason to get a restraining order and call the cops!
I live in a fairly crime-safe area, and I work in one as well. I usually leave my car unlocked while I’m at work during the day. I have no fears that I will ever have anything stolen.
About three years ago, I was working at a large insurance company in a quiet town. My dad, who’s crazy but fun, lives in the next town over. His “job” is working at a not-for-profit agency. He also “sells antiques” on the side. I’m not really quite sure what he does, but it involves not working for the bulk of the day and having waaaay too much free time on his hands, apparently. At the time, I was driving a piece of shit jeep. POS Jeep didn’t lock, so I couldn’t even secure it if I had wanted to!
One morning, I parked it. I went into work. As I’m leaving work (around 4:30pm) and walking through the parking lot, I notice that there is something on top of my car. What the fuck? It’s a table. Like a combination of a scrappy end table and small child’s drafting desk. It is pouring rain outsides, I’m with 3 of my fellow coworkers and there is a freaking table on top of my car. The legs were pointed towards the sky. I was completely baffled until I opened my back hatch and saw that there was also a broken lamp, some old children’s toys, 7 cans of tuna fish and a frozen turkey. There was also a note from my dad ; “Hey, Rach! I thought you could use some of this stuff! Call me when you get a chance… love, Dad”.
Ever since then, it’s been happening with increasing frequency. Once in a while, I’ll come out to my car and find 2 cans of baked beans, some McDonald’s happy meal toys and a box of cereal. Most recently, it’s been toilet paper and tuna fish.
I am curious. I want to know – where does he get this crap? Why does he assume that I need 8 cans of tuna fish every month? How does he have the time to unload it into my car? What the hell possessed him to ever start this up?
While I laugh about it, I also enjoy it. One day, he’ll be too old to do this. I’ll long for the days of jarred spaghetti sauce and dirty cabbage patch dolls. Sometimes, it’s actually useful items. For instance, I just got a puppy last week. Yesterday, he left me two 7lb bags of puppy food, 2 rolls of paper towels, and some cans of tuna fish. I do believe that he’s expecting me to have Northwest Connecticut’s First Annual Tuna Noodle Casserole Bake-off 2008!! at some point in the next few months. I cannot explain the tuna.
I love my crazy, batshit dad. There is nothing out there that can brighten your day like someone leaving some chexmix and girlscout cookies in the front seat of your car while you’re wasting away in a cubicle. Thanks, Dad!
